You see my mother had 9 kids, 8 of them with my biological father then one with my step father after they divorced. I was probably 3. There is a lot of history there that points to the possibly of her not wanted to be alone and I don't think she wanted that at any cost. You see she sent my oldest brother, Junior, to live with our dad in Texas when he was 15 yrs (1984) because he was experimenting with marijana and I can only imagine being a challenge teenager to basically a single mother. Because first step father didn't really want anything to do with us. Then my sister, Leticia left when she was 16 yrs old. (I believe that really broke my little brother heart since she raised him since he was born he was only 3yrs). My next brother Roy moved out when he was 15 yrs old and the following brother, Roque left when he was 14 yrs. I felt left behind and abandoned for many years. But now I realized, they left in order to survive. I left when I was 14 yrs because I could not take the abuse and erratic behavior from my mom. She wanted to throw me a quinceanera for me that I felt like we could not afford solely for outward appearances, so I left. I tried to stay in touch with Mario and take him out to Boise State games with me so he could see there was more out there then Homedale. My older sister, Alicia, had done that for me and it helped. But after I tried to get Mario help for his drug problems, my mother called to tell me to never call the house again because Mario didn't have a problem. I told her that if his whole paycheck was going to drugs, that would constitute a problem. But she wouldn't hear it and my brother just asked me to leave him alone. I was hard decision but my relationship with my mother was already shaky so I didn't want to cause any more issues with my brother.
Fast forward 13 yrs latest sister, Linda (who still lives close to them in Idaho) tells me that Mario wants to see me at the upcoming reunion. He says it might be the last time I see him because he doesn't want to do dialysis anymore so if I want to to see him alive I better come. I already struggled to make the decision to not come since my uncle, my mother brother Paul, would be there and he molested me when I was 4-5yrs old was going to be there. My mother never believe me and called me a liar and still does to this day. I should probably say that that my mother has only called twice in my live 1) was to tell me to leave my brother alone that he didn't have a problem and 2) To ask me to take that same uncle out he in Seattle and show him around. I was pregnant at the time and told her I couldn't take to her and had she not remembered what he did to me. That exact point and racked my brain for one memory of smiling at me or a loving moment. I even called my sister Alicia to ask if she had one. She said yes and I told her I didn't and had been thinking about it for 2 weeks but I made the decision to stop pretending everything was ok and until she acknowledged what happened to my family extended as well she would not meet Sofia.
I told Mario I would see him but not at the family reunion and would come a week earlier and he could meet my husband and Sofia if he want to. So I drove up the next day 8 hours and he called to meet. He wanted me to come to my moms house where he was living and I told me I couldn't do that and asked me why. I told him what happened with my uncle, my mothers favorite, and he came out to Frosty Palace there in Homedale to meet us.
He told me he didn't know. He pulled and and got out of the car. It's crazy how much Mario looks like my mom. We caught up exchanged pictures Facebook information of course and I started to cry. I was so emotional. I apologized for leaving him and telling him why. I don't know why it took so long to reconnect. He told me to stop crying, that it was suppose to be a happy time but I just had to tell me and explain maybe if it was only for me. Mario also me Earl and really like him. We hugged and said goodbye. He text me later to ask me when I had told my mother about my uncle. I told him it was the last time it happened at our family friend's house that he was dating at the time. I had screamed during the night because he tried to do it again and I was tired of it happening and just wanted to stop. I was 5 yrs or so. He probably asked my mother and she denied it again. Text had come in at 11:30pm but I told him he should talk to Josie, she was the adult there and ended everything with Tio Paul.
I found a lot of his drawing he used to send me from jail and took a picture of them and sent it to him and he told me his hand hurts now and we hasn't been able to do that any more. Aye chiquito. Life is crazy.