I have to work through a birth defect. I have a abnormally long ulna which has caused a tear in the cartilage in my right wrist close to my pinkie finger. (TFCC Triangular fiber Cartilage Complex). It started off as an annoying click in my wrist when I did yoga and has evolved into not being able to put my seat beat on with out pain. Now remember, I have spent 4 years doing one arm push ups and hand stands to even being suspended on my left wrist in my fitness competition. Now I'm sitting in front of a orthopedic surgeon telling me that the only solution is to cut my ulna in the middle and remove 2 mm and fuse my bones together. Which means I will be in surgery one day, in a sling for 9 days, and in a cast for 8-10 weeks. Oh, and the way I will have two titanium plates and screws holding my bone together until the bone grows back together. Then I'll have another surgery to remove them.
I sat in my car for 20 minutes and cried after my appointment. How could this be? I just competed nationally less then two months prior, I am at the peak of my career, now it's getting good and I'm benched. I'm still crying now with the thought of whats to come. Thanks god for me being around people who have taught me that's it's going to be ok. It took me a long time to write this blog because I didn't know how to put into words what I was feeling. But now I know it's ok. This is my sign to slow down and work on other departments of my life. I have seen some of my clients recover faster then the doctors and physical therapist gave them. I have seen them go through their ugly and make peace with themselves. But I am finally surrendered.
I went and got a second opinion as well and heard the same thing, I still cried, in front of the doctor this time. But he put me at ease by telling me that if he hadn't seen me now, it would have been 10 years from now. Being active just brought it up a lot soon and my recover speed is faster now than it's going to be 10 years from now.
I share this with you because there are some of you that put me on a pedestal and see me so far away from you. But you have to realize that everyone has their shit to work through. Sometimes its longer and sometimes it's a quick decision to let go and realize you are not superwomen. So thank you for all your prayers and heart-felt energy! Peace and light to all of you! Come see me if you feel like you're in your ugly, I'll support your journey too!